No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
