We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
