apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
