why didn't you poke me back
I just cut my nipple shaving
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
