so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
