I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
