so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
