Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
