Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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