She announced her abortion via fbk
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
