When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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