we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
