Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize