I didn't shave. On purpose
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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