I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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