So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
