haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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