literally had 100 drinks last night.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
