There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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