Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Randomize
