I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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