Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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