I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you would pick up someone in the library
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
