I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
