i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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