So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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