I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I party with great urgency now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
