all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
