put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
