Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
