I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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