Everything about him screamed your future.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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