I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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