Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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