I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
