Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
