The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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