Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
God, I missed his penis.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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