We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
