Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
