capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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