i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
