hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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