he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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