u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
