Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
