Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How does it feel to date your dad?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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