john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
