i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
