she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
