Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How external is "for external use only"?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
