I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think my moral compass just broke
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
