I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
